Tuesday, August 11, 2009


I was in college sitting in my semi-fav place i.e. IT lab. Still thinking, tensed, stressed about my coming seminar presentation, preparing PowerPoint presentation. There were few students sitting that day in the lab, so it was more silent. There was a girl sitting beside me of media 1st semester with her friends, Debarathi later I came to know her name. There was a vacant seat on the right side of my seat..a girl came there and sat on the seat and started talking with her friend through my seat as a result I got distracted. And one of my friend Tanuj started to flirt with her which I didn't like. In the mean time I started to talk with her and found her interesting girl, my kinda girl. From the beginning she was very friendly with everybody who was involved teasing me and that girl. I became fond of her from the very beginning. She had her IT test after 1 hours and she didn’t know basics of word. So I thought of making use of my knowledge, I tried to make her learn at least something. In the course of time with in few minutes we became very good friends, I suppose :)..She and her friends were about to leave IT lab, I was in dilemma that should I ask her call number but she a nice girl made my work easy by giving her number to me ;) and in the mean time her friend Debo also exchanged number. At last I wished her best of luck happily :).. Then as I already said I was busy with my project due Thursday and in between texted her quite often as I text a lot. By 4 o'clock I have completed my project. In just few hours I became astonished , I was not the same I suppose as she and only she was hanging around me throughout out the day and night. With in 8 hours we both knew lot of each other..I didn’t counted the hours but she did. During the night I was texting her but I thought of gossiping with her as I was really missing her presence :(. I rang her and she a good girl dropped my call and rang me back..we chatted on many things and in the mean time I told her that I like her a lot..talking with her I came to know , no doubt my unconditional love for her. I don't know why but she took my heart away in our very first meeting :(. I knew the pain of rejection or whatever but who cares I like to be in present and this is where I gone wrong :). I took it for granted that shez also going to be have same feelings for me and unknowingly I hurt both of us ;( ... I cant write the pain which I have gone through.. U know actually he (GOD) doesn't wants me to be happy by heart somewhere he always stuck me into some sort of pain. Actually it's not like that he wants me to understand the world right now, he wants to make me strong but this way really sucks :(..Oh! Second day in college she also had class and she told me that we can meet before 3 pm but I was stuck with my projects again as it needed some modifications. I reached in class an hours late but as usual ma'm gave permission to attend the class which was going to go for an hours but I requested ma'm and packed up class 20 minutes before as I was desperate to see my girl. At last she waited for me and I found her near the exit/entrance area of our college chatting with her few friends and unfortunately that day was Rakhi Purnima..When I go to talk to her my stupid friends made lot of fun of me, which I never minded :).. Then she left for home and I a fool started to follow her for anything, u know I fell in love with her..Beautiful! :) And my f**king friends started poking me right then. And at the same time I needed to go to Sujata Ma'm for requesting her to postpone our project submission date along with my few classmates, they were constantly ringing me.. Everything was almost messed up. I want to spend some time with her but on the other hand that work was also very important. We chatted for 15-20 mins and I left her alone which I cant help. And I ran to 8th floor and heard good news from Arpita that the work is done and will be presentated on Monday. Then again I ran to the bus-stop and thank GOD she was there.. I saw a glimpse of happiness in her eyes and started talking with her. Then we get on the same bus 201 and OFMG the bus was damn crowded anyways we got seat. As the bus was full of crowd we can't talk anymore, so I started texting her..:) And again in the night we chatted on phone till 3am in the morning. And I got to know that her mom is admitted in the hospital due to some severe back pain. She was very upset, so as I. :( This continued for next two days. Those days were probably a ' U ' turn in history of my life. I do have past relationships but never my heart felt like that. May be I was too young to experience those meaning full stuffs. And next day rather night we didn't chatted for the first time as I was nil with my balance and she slept early that night. Next day I texted her she was not replying me. I was really afraid as somewhere in mind someone was telling me number of times you are going to loose her... as a result something of that kind happened , She confessed she have a boy friend and she loves him a lot. :) I was not shocked rather happy she actually said the truth, well she did a bit late but she did and for me that was very important i.e. speaking truth.:)I consoled myself somehow assuming that Love isn't expecting but giving unconditionally which I did :( बोले तो प्यार पाने का नाम नही है किंतु खोने का भी है। :)
But even though I love her a lot ... still have faith in my love that some day she will come to me and say I Love You..I Love You ..I Love You..:)I wish I was Invisible as you are making me feel now.. My heart is still with you.. I'm lost and lonely without you my girl ;(... But do not worry that’s my problem, what you did was very natural..:) In a way, I was prepared for that part of the story. Hope someday you will realize my love for you which is only yours and I'm not going to share my love with anyone. Knowingly or unknowingly I have also hurt her.. and I'm apologizing for whatever I have done ... ;(Yesterday we were texting each other and I somehow hurt her which I never wanted but I always do.. :( At 1am I called her up and she had gone through some immense pain I guess because her voice was breaking constantly..She was missing me :( And a mistake she promised her mom that she will not talk late night but she broke that promise for sake of me.. Its very sad, here I felt hurt. And she dropped the call and we started texting again. She had a test today, well she is good in academics she must have done well. Today also she didn’t messaged me till now..:(

1 comment:

Prasun Kumar Das said...

Nothing is perpetual.. We should not ever expect anything to be.. Better, we should try our best to make the best out the moments we actually have, however little they may be, rather than wasting the moments measuring how long the moments or the phases will last..