Today I was going through many sudden mood swings. And I think, I know why so?
Somehow opened my eyes after 4 hours of sleep through all the day. Reached college late by almost 30mins but that was not the problem anyway. Exams are at hand, so downfall in the attendance only 5 students attended the class. Like the class the duration of the class is also decreasing respectively. Though the main purpose of going college today was mainly for submitting the Internship Training Report. After the class, gone to the near by tea stall; had a fag there which was by courtesy: Sourish. Thanks to him. Got some phone calls & couple of messages from friends that they need my help in completing their Training Report. They were in the IT lab, which use to be my semi-favourite place sometime back in college. Now, the perception is completely changed. Helped some of my poor buddies. They will never change. Though I help them just to receive lots of thanks & blessings.
One thing I would like to blog about here now is about: Shomo Shuvra Das, one of my best friend of college. He is such a dickhead, you people have no idea. This fucking pain in my neck didn’t bothered to complete his Training Report. And today even I didn’t bothered to help him. Do u know why? I could have made his complete project in matter of a day. but can this help him to get over with the problem he is facing to cope up with TR? Of course not. But I don’t know ‘How to make him understand this simple thing which will only benefit him but no one else. He was upset with me today. He didn’t talked to me much. But instead I made a hell lot of fun of him in front of many colleagues. He is hanging in between: pass & fail. I wish he can pass the TR with reasonably good scores. So is the case with: Tanuj. Same wishes for him. I hope Arpita grant them permission to present the TR some other day. Best Wishes Guys.
After making fun and insulting him, I went to Library for studying my TR for Viva. All was good, until she came to library. (Sorry I don’t want to name her.) After she moved away from me, I find it very hard to face her. But after those unfortunate happening I was all right with whatever happened because the reason she gave for breaking up was pretty reasonable. I understood her problem. And I personally never wanted to carry a relationship in grey matter. And she told me ‘She will love me forever’, which is a bullshit. I was pretty emotionally attached with her. She took due advantage of that, which I can realise now a days. I thought she was true to me. But she proved me wrong & many people to count. There is some other guy with him she is going around with. I know that guy well, he is our classmate. But it would have been a foolish idea to let a girl go if she is willing to go around with you. My friend took the favour offered by that b****h. Sry Guys! I thought for a while about our relationship. Her promises and all the love she had for me.(I m not sure if she really loved me or made me a fool.) Then her meaning in my life changed like the Kolkata Traffic. She was trying to talk with me in the Viva, but I reacted rudely with her and with her friends too. Apologise! And of course what I told my friends today, i.e. the definition of girls: they are like the buses, if one goes next will surely come in few time. Even then for what she did, else doing she have no hint that I know about what she is trying to end up with.
In the viva exam, got good marks. 90/100 is not a bad marks either. But that is to some extent due to my professor as he was lenient towards the mass. I was well prepared for the Viva but a single gaze of her screwed everything today. I am not happy within. I was not the one before which I am now. I have never used such abusive words for anybody that’s a history now. I want peace of mind. I want to forget her. I had almost 2500 msgs in my phone but thank god my phone crashed so the msgs because i knew I would have never deleted her single msg with my hands. I think even God don’t want me to be a inch close to her. After coming home from giving routine tuition, i went right inside my bed. Nothing came into my mind to do right then. I wish only one person reads this: Prasun K Das, my cousin brother. He directed me to write this draft. He is the only person whom I think knows me better than me.
Now, I can sleep or pretend to sleep quietly.
I don’t know, if I am doing right by publicly stretching the personal issues. I am sorry!